Ever been completely fucked over by someone in your life?
It sucks.
In my case, I’m choosing to take the higher road…
But some days, I just want to put this person on blast and expose their fuckery to the rest of the world.
This particular person was an acquaintance. Someone I didn’t care for, but they were in the same social groups as me, so I just sucked it up and went along with it. They could easily fool others, but I smell bullshit from a mile away.
I’ve always had the gift of discernment. My gut feeling has never been wrong about a person.
From the moment I met this person, I knew they were a chameleon. Someone who could pull the wool over people’s eyes and trick them into believing they were a decent person.
Not me though. I knew they were deceitful.
But I would just smile and nod and act cordial.
Then it happened.
They fucked me over.
Shocker.
Not that I hadn’t seen it coming - I’m far from naïve.
I simply did not do enough to prevent it.
That’s my fault.
However, this person completely shook up my life. I mean, completely rattled it to its core.
And them?
Unaffected.
Indifferent.
Unapologetic.
Sure, they say "forgive and forget." But damn, that’s hard when this person continues to ruin lives (no, I was not their first victim).
Ok, my life isn’t ruined. But it is forever changed.
I see this person on social media occasionally, or I may have the misfortune of seeing them somewhere out in public. I’m a mature person, so I go about my day without confrontation. But part of me just wants to scream in their face. Part of me just wants to pull out their dirty little secrets and put them on display for the rest of the world – more so as a cautionary tale.
People like this should come with a warning label. A disclaimer. Something to let unsuspecting people know that the smile on their face hides the deceitfulness in their heart.
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Ok – I just unleashed some heavy stuff.
You’re probably thinking:
“Shannon, girl… errthing OK?”
Look, I’m not a hateful person. I’ve kept quiet for a long time. And will continue to do so. I’m still looking for forgiveness in my heart. It’s just not there. Yet.
I feel like at some point, we’ve all experienced those heart wrenching, gut punching moments where someone betrayed us in some sort of way that left us in pieces. If not, you are extremely blessed.
I am still working through these emotions.
EVERY.
DAMN.
DAY.
It’s constant.
I’m learning how to forgive.
But I’m stubborn af, so it’s a struggle.
The worst part is never receiving an apology. Maybe they are sorry. Who knows. But they are cowards who will never admit it.
It is what it is though. I'll let karma sort it out.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. I hope to get to that point one day.